time is dead

i'm the type of person who either doesn't sleep at all or goes into mini-comas that last for 12+ hours.

it's not that i don't want to sleep. on the contrary, i happen to love sleeping. i get to escape from all the responsibility and the expectations and the pressure that people thrust upon me everyday, so sleeping is very nice. it's just that, nowadays, i either have too many 'important' things to do so i have to sacrifice my sleep, or i just lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and stay up, because all those days of working my ass off at night have screwed up my biological clock really badly and thus i am no longer capable of falling asleep at sane hours.

this really sucks because i usually hate myself in the morning, when i'm too lethargic to do anything and it feels like my brain is dead. in the end it's all my fault, of course. my choice to stay up leads to my own undoing. this is also one of the reasons why i hate mornings.

to compensate my lack of quality sleep, my body forces me to fall asleep at the weirdest times during the day. like in the middle of math class, through the weekend, two stops before i have to get off of the subway &etc. not cool when you're actually expected to be awake for most of those times, but what can i do?

right now, i'm avoiding sleep in favor of writing another nonsensical blog post and not doing any actual work (read: procrastinating).


tl;dr - i just really fucking hate school because it makes me lose sleep, either by force or voluntarily.